• DB

Just what the Doctor ordered...

2021 had the potential to get off to a cracking start, with the screening of an all-new episode of Doctor Who. That potential became even more apparent when the trailer dropped, and revealed a tweaked design to what looked like some kick-ass Daleks.


Sadly, the ass-kicking ability of Skaro's finest was abhorrently absent, and the tremendous potential was totally unfilled. The new Daleks looked great; it was genuinely nice to see Captain Jack back, and - fleetingly - a few more familiar faces in the space prison. But the episode plodded along, took far too long to get to the action scenes, which were then all over far too quickly. And, in a blink and you miss it travesty, suddenly there is one "new" Dalek left; ALL the others had already been oblitered (mostly off-screen).


Then came the much-previewed "emotional" departure of two companions, which apparently had cast and crew in tears while being filmed. I felt cheated and underwhelmed.


I LOVE Doctor Who. And I continue watching. And I WILL continue watching. I was against a female Doctor - not because I'm old-fashioned or sexist, but because if the Doctor had the ability of change gender, what are the odds on it being a man for 13 times in a row (Hartnell, Troughton, Pertwee, Baker T, Davison, Baker C, McCoy, McGann, Hurt, Ecclestone, Tennant, Smith, Capaldi)? BUT I will say that Jodie has done a decent job, and I've come to accept that 'she' was once all the others. HOWEVER, I slapped my forehead in despair at the whole "Timeless child" malarkey. What? Hartnell was NOT the first version of our beloved hero, who is not even from Gallifrey!


BUT, with rumours now rife about Jodie departing at the end of the series currently being filmed, I've come up with a way to salvage the situation and retcon the timeless child malarkey. If you're sitting comfortably, here goes: (Are you listening, Mr Chibnall?)


Jodie's Doctor remains traumatised and mentally tortured by the questions over her own identity/past following the timeless child revelations. She regenerations - into Jo Martin's black female Doctor, who we saw in the last series. This would solve the riddle of why the Judoon were chasing Jo Martin in that episode (she was on the run, having been sprung from jail by Captain Jack in the Revolution of the Daleks episode. And, of course, Jo Martin's 'debut' in series 12 also featured a Captain Jack cameo, so it all nicely comes full circle). It also solves the following discrepancy: if Jo Martin was a past incarnation of the Doctor who pre-dated Hartnell, why did she have a Tardis in the shape of the Police Box? This shape was taken on by the chameleon circuit when Hartnell landed in that junk yard in Totters Lane in 1963 - and then the circuit jammed. Why didn't Jo Martin confess to Jodie to being her immediate future incarnation? Because we've been told time and time again that it's perilous for anyone, let alone a time traveller, to have foreknowledge of their own future. So Jo Martin clearly decided everything had been complicated enough, so she chose not to reveal that she was the next Doctor. (There is another discrepancy: we are led to believe that Jo IS a past incarnation, quite possibly pre-Hartnell, and that the timeless child had many lives (as seen in Brain of Morbius) before adopting the title of The Doctor, which was done for the first time. So why, if Jo Martin was PRE-HARTNELL, would she still be calling herself the Doctor? She wouldn't. BUT take on my idea, and make Jo Martin the next Doctor, and she CAN then legitimately call herself the Doctor. She just chose not to reveal to Jodie that she was the next.


And so, finally, to the wretched Timeless Child thing as a whole. I think this CAN be retconned. It can be attributed to a cunning conspiracy cooked up by The Master, in cahoots with the mighty Rassilon, who is still pretty miffed at the (Capaldi) Doctor for banishing him from Gallifrey, let alone ruining his big comeback to reality in his Dalton incarnation. Maybe even Omega can be thrown into the mix, too; a cunning plan, with seeds sown throughout time and space (like the first mention of timeless child, in Jodie's second episode), designed to undermine the Doctor's own self confidence/belief/esteem, and drive her out of her mind! It's just the sort of madcap thing the Master would do. He loves screwing with people's minds/sanity!


So then we can happily go back to William Hartnell being the first Doctor, as we've always believed. Perhaps an on-screen reunion with his grand-daughter, Carole-Ann Ford's Susan, to unlock all the mental malarkey created by the Master, and to enable the Doctor to not be driven insane, but to see the truth.


There, sorted. If Mr Chibnall, or any other far more talented writer than me, wants to crack on with it, please do. Just give me a "Based on an original idea by...." credit. I thank you. There will be no charge.


Oh, and we DO need to see the black with blue/red neon lighting, kick-ass Daleks, in action again. And restore the ability of the bronze Daleks to swivel their middle (gun and sucker) section through 180 degrees.


As they say in the world of the Mandalorian, I have spoken.