QUICKFIRE

This section of my website is essential like a 'quick-fire' round or short answers to profile questions, just to give you an idea, should you be remotely interested, of what I love and what I loathe, as well as some fun facts and a plethora of completely useless information.

Loves

The sound of my son laughing.

Punfights.

Making people laugh.

Any time I make a decent save on the hockey pitch.

Riding a new rollercoaster for the first time.

Beer-battered onion rings.

Cheese straws.

Loathes

The sound of my son crying.

Playground politics in the workplace.

Two-faced, self-centred, fair-weather friends.

Every time I concede a soft goal on the hockey pitch.

Prawns and other such seafood.

Cooked fruit (with the exception of pineapple - compulsory on pizza).

NICKNAMES

Baney, Dazza B, Oily Rag, The Bane-o, Boy Wonder, Dazzius Maximus Baneus, Darrildo, Baneiac, Dazzle, The Punisher, the artiste known as Banesy.

FAVOURITE BOOKS

The Hitch Hikers Guide To  The Galaxy; The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin.

FAVOURITE FILMS

Star Wars, Airpline, Top Secret, Hot Shots, Waking Ned, Dead Poet's Society, Hot Fuzz, Home Alone, The Pink Panther Strikes Again.

DON'T LIKE

Zombie films.

FAVOURITE TELEVISION

Doctor Who. Blake's Seven, Blackadder, Father Ted, Luther, A Touch Of Cloth, Tiswas, Fawlty Towers.

DON'T LIKE

Soaps, most 'reality' TV shows which have created Z-list celebs who are famous only for being on such shows.

FAVOURITE MUSICIANS/BANDS

The Mission, The Waterboys, The Alarm, Dare, Gene Loves Jezebel, River City People The Jeff Healey Band, Dido, Pink, The Levellers, Bon Jovi, Katie Melua, The Commitments, All About Eve, The Cult, Then Jerico.

DON'T LIKE

(c)rap music, Michael Bolton, Level 42, The Smiths.

FAVOURITE COMEDIANS

Peter Cook & Dudley Moore, Milton Jones, Jimmy Carr, Al Murray, Phil Cool, Jethro, Rob Brydon, Henning Wehn, Joan Rivers.

DON'T LIKE

Harry Hill, Michael Macintyre, Micky Flanagan, Paul O'Grady, Steve Coogan.

CLAIMS TO FAME

I have a Guinness World Record certificate, having organised a fund-raising event which led to my hockey club setting a new world record for the longest continuous match in history, 31 hours. We held the record for just under a year.

I was once asked to act as a 'decoy' for 80s pop star Jason Donovan in order to enable him to safely flee from thousands of adoring female fans at the end of his live performance at the BBC Radio 1 Roadshow in Weston-super-Mare. This deception resulted in my briefly being screamed at and desired by many, many, amorous females, only for them all to groan in unison in extreme disappointment once the deception was revealed.

I ended up earning a screen credit as "Gaffer" and sharing a short scene on screen with former Doctor Who assistant Wendy Padbury in a low-budget science fiction film which also starred Colin Baker and Carole Ann Ford.

CLAIMS TO INFAMY

Early in my journalisttic career, as an uncultured youth, I attended a Christmas drinks reception hosted by the Mayor of Weston-super-Mare. I complained to someone about a chicken nugget being raw, only to be told it was scampi.

Another culinary cock-up; I was slowly teaching myself to cook properly. One recipe called me to use "Madiera" in a sauce. Back then, I thought Madiera was an island and also a rather dry sponge cake. So I used Lambrusco instead, and had a nice, slightly fizzy, gravy.

A typo appeared in a newspaper story I had written, which claimed that the man police were looking for in connection with a crime was described as wearing blue jeans and a 'shite' shirt.

I was convicted of speeding in a Citroen 2CV.

if you have any 'questions' for me that you'd like me to answer on this page, you can send me a message using the form on the Contact page of this website, which you can reach using the main menu bar.

Working wordsmith, happy hubby, doting dad, amateur author, practising prestidigitator, hapless hockeyologist, ditzy dreamer.
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